Windows vs. GNU/Linux

(from slashdot.org.  I'm quoting this because it's priceless.  you should all read it.  now.)

Let's assume, that by some miracle, some subcontractor, ShitSoft (MS) manages to break a deal to sell shit (Windows) for food (OS) for McDonalds (IBM) customers for their fastfood restaurants (PC) sometime in the late 80ies so ShitSoft gains monopoly on fastfood restaurants and thus the food market.

There are 12'000 people involved in devising the best methods to fling shit at the customers, to feed them with shit, to serve shit in the most appetizing way.

Because people don't know anything better, people buy ShitSoft's "product". ShitSoft must be producing a huge market many hungry people rely on, right?

ShitSoft is a nice friendly company, so it donates less than 1% of its profits to help combat diseases, so this is why we should keep eating shit.

Also, ShitSoft also has around 12'000 employees, whom are contractually obliged to eat shit.

ShitSoft has been on the top for a while, they clearly created a product that everyone LIKES, because they don't know any better. That product has created jobs for millions of food specialists, contractors and plastic cutlery producers. (Because they would be totally out of their jobs if people would eat something different, right?)

But as in every fairy tale the bad, ugly guy appeared: community owned greenhouses started producing quality vegetables. They gave it away the plans of building such greenhouses and the seeds for the vegetables, only asking to share them with everyone who wants those plans and seeds.

ShitSoft had to do something: they started their "Get the feces" campaign, where they involved several independent researchers, with only a few million shares from ShitSoft or being a board member at ShitSoft. Those researchers claimed that everyone who uses community owned greenhouses must be a communist for not supporting Real hard working American produced quality branded shit wrapped in nice shiny package, but preferred vegetables. They explained that shit has a much lower Total Caloric Overall, than vegetables and that ShitSoft's shit is produced by a trustable american corporation while the vegetables are clearly on the way to ruin the american economy.

The campaign is still undecided to be effective or not, but let's not forget another issue: ShitSoft's product created a huge industry to modify some of the product's erm, "features". Some customers wanted to decrease the value of the quality shit (no idea why would they want to do that), by buying products from third party companies to make shit lose it's smell and taste, and to drive away the flies. Can you not see how ShitSoft helps the economy?

There have been certain allegations before, that ShitSoft's product is not adequate for human consumption. Such a nonsense! It is a shame that we can't disprove that since ShitSoft's End User Shit Agreement specifically forbids the analysis of their latest, "eXPerience the Shit" product and all former versions. Some people slandered ShitSoft before by claiming that shit causes diarrhea and infections and that generally everyone just should refrain from eating shit, but ShitSoft dismissed such scandalous claims.

Be patriotic, support ShitSoft, down with vegetables!


(Link here)